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Hardest 4+ weeks of my fatherhood

Posted on April 30, 2015 by dadstayedhome

I may be jumping the gun but I feel like I just survived the toughest 4 weeks of my life. It is definitely the toughest I have had since becoming a dad.

Up to this point, Natalie has always slept well in her crib for naps and during bedtime. For the last 4+ weeks Natalie has absolutely refused to sleep anywhere but in either Addison’s or my arms or in between us in bed. Before you jump to the conclusion that we should be thankful she sleeps in bed at all, it’s not as glorious as you may think. SHE HAD TO SLEEP IN BETWEEN US, meaning we both had to be in bed. If Addison woke up to get ready for work that means all 3 of us got up. That’s a good 45 minutes of sleep Nat and I were missing out on. Kendall would usually sleep for an additional 2 sometimes even 3 more hours. Right about the time Kendall was waking up, Natalie was ready to take a nap (remember that nap has to occur in my arms on the couch). When Kendall wakes up, she needs a diaper change, a change of clothes, milk and some breakfast to start her morning off right. While Kendall ate her breakfast, tired cranky Nat and I hit the couch to get her some Zzzzzs. This would have been awesome if Kendall could have been a quiet good girl and not immediately jump on the couch, yell and try and lay on us (she got these qualities from her mother). Natalie ended up getting around an hour of sleep and I spent that hour fighting off Kendall with one arm.

Nat’s afternoon nap wasn’t as stressful because Kendall falls asleep really easy in her bed. I ended up on the couch holding my sleeping 9 month old for around 2.5 hours. I will be completely honest with you when I say I took a nap along with my girls every single day since this started. An afternoon nap is great. What isn’t as great is the fact that I haven’t had a minute to myself for the past month.

Never having any time to yourself doesn’t seem like a big deal but after a few days it makes you want to smack your head into a wall until you knock yourself out. It was Hell. It was the type of misery that you save up in the back of your mind for your worst enemy. For over a Month I had about 4 total hours away from Natalie. That involved going to Sam’s club to get a 12 pound bag of coffee. So, in Nick fashion, I really tried to dig down deep and find some good in this. The way I see it is, in a few years I’m going to wish more than anything for Natalie want to sleep in Daddy’s arms. I need to enjoy it while it lasts. I tried to chronicle as many of the naps as possible. Here are some shots of Natalie and I during our daily naps.

On the bright side on Wednesday I got her to fall asleep in her crib for 2 hours in the morning and I got some much needed Kendall and dad time.

I am also proud to report that this is what we woke up to this morning.

Posted in Baby stuff, Uncategorized | Tagged baby will not sleep, family, sleeping baby., stay at home dad | 3 Comments

I took it for granted and I won’t make that mistake twice.

Posted on April 28, 2015 by dadstayedhome

I remember when Kendall was born we just marveled at anything new that happened. If she sneezed it was the greatest sneeze ever. When she rolled over it was “I have never seen a baby roll over with ease like that before”. She walked and crawled faster than most babies we knew (by the way we didn’t really know any). Natalie comes along and every milestone that she hit we had seen before. Don’t get me wrong we have been excited for the things that she has done so far. When she crawled it was fun to watch her look all goofy and wobbly but it wasn’t the same. When we gave her baby food for the first time it was just as cute as with Kendall but it was rushed and it wasn’t recorded with the wall to wall coverage like CNN does when an airplane goes down. The other day we bathed the girls separately and to be honest i’m not really sure why we did it but Natalie loved it. She giggled and splashed and was just able to be a 9 month old and not worry about anything but having a good time. Normally everything she does involves Kendall to a certain degree. Kendall can be very loving and sweet but on the flip side to that she can also be very rough and selfish. I call this mode the this is mine and mine only and you can not play with this toy that I have never ever payed with before but for some reason don’t want you to play with it and I am going to put it up high enough to where you cant get it which will make you cry mode. I had so much fun just me and Nat for bath time that I decided that I was determine to just have some us time every day for a little bit. Kendall gets alone time with me when Natalie is napping or feeding. We cook dinner some nights but Natalie never has any just daddy time. So for the last few days that is exactly what I have done. In the morning before Kendall gets up I make sure that Natalie and I are doing something together. The dishes can wait. I guess what i’m getting at is as a stay at home dad I have always told myself ” this is awesome you are never going to miss anything with the girls growing up”. I was wrong, I have missed things. I have missed things because of me. I have missed things because I took for granted that I have already done this before. I haven’t done this before. I haven’t witnessed Natalie crawling before or eating food before. I haven’t watched Natalie awkwardly tumble backwards while trying to stand up. I haven’t gone through any of those experiences with Natty, I did all that with K and anyone who knows me knows that my kids are two different amazing little humans that I love very much. Shame on me for making that mistake and assumption that I have done it before. So I’ll leave you with this, I know how important my dad was to me. I know that I would really like for both of my girls to feel the same way about me. I know my girls love me and I know I’m a very good father but I want them to know that I love many things about them individually. I want Natalie to know that when she does walk that I will be right in her face smiling and laughing and building our own memories not just doing it again. Below our a few pictures of Natalie just getting to be Natalie.